# 3. Assume Positive Intent

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(3/5) One of my first and biggest takeaways from business school was to always assume positive intent.

Life is better when you believe that everyone is trying their best.

We all make mistakes but unfortunately we have a double standard when we look at the mistakes of others.

With ourselves, we’re quick to blame the circumstances and mitigate our agency in the choices we’ve made.

With others, we’re quick to overemphasize their agency and undervalue the circumstances.

The 'spotlight effect', a psychological concept, exacerbates this imbalance. It suggests that we tend to magnify our own mistakes, believing others are scrutinizing us more than they really are.

Living in the present breaks us free from this self-imposed trap.

Refocus on what is, instead of what should or could be.

The rare instances where negative intent is at work, then allow yourself to learn this intent, rather than jumping to that conclusion from the onset.

Rather than getting defensive or, worse, getting retributive, engage in a productive conversation. If possible, focus on working together to heal the situation.

To believe that everyone is doing their best, to give them the benefit of the doubt, and to let go of any grievances is a liberating mindset.

YOLO, so do what makes life with others best.


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